About red convertibles and roasted marshmallows
by ramaya
Summary: Rosalie Hale, 17, intelligent, beautiful blonde. Emmett Cullen, 86, not too bright, handsome vampire. One hates, the other loves. Can they survive 5 minutes together with a broken hand and a strange principal? One-shot.


**A/N: Yeah, I haven't updated my other story in a while, that chapter will be out next week or so, but in the mean time, this is a random story I suddenly found. Oh, and did you know, there is an option to make your screen black and the letters white. This is not only better for your eyes, but also better for the environment. So please, please select this option and save some trees!**

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"When will you finally grow up?!" the girl yelled at her lab partner in the midst of a lesson. The teacher turned around and said:

"Yes, I was wondering the exact same thing miss Hale; about the both you. Miss Hale, Mr. Cullen, please leave my classroom and go see Mrs. Weltje."

The beautiful blonde girl known as Rosalie immediately jumped out of her chair to comment; but the teacher said in a bored tone: "Now."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Rosalie grabbed her stuff and stomped outside.

Her lab partner however, a big muscular guy better known as Emmett, followed Rosalie merrily out of the classroom with a huge grin plastered on his face. They walked in silence towards the head mistress' office until Emmett wondered: "Do you think that old hag will put me in detention again?"

"No doubt."

"I think she is just some perverted little lady who likes to see really handsome young men sitting bored behind desks with killer blonds next to them."

Rosalie abruptly turned around. "Is this just some joke to you? All to kill time or something? Here this behaviour may be overlooked, but out there in the real world it won't! So you just need to shut up, grow to be an adult and act responsible!"

At the last part she was screaming, leaving Emmett dumbfounded as Rosalie entered Mrs. Weltje's office. He was old enough to be her grandfather, or great-grandfather for that matter! And yet she told _him _to grow up? She was right, it _was _all about killing time. Being immortal could be pretty boring at times, and well, what better ways to spend time than hanging out with Rosalie, even if she hated him. His family was already saying it was stupid to be so…er, _obsessed_ with a human, but Rosalie was just so different. At first it was her scent that appealed to him, but when he got to know her, she was just irresistible. Although he knew it would never happen, he secretly wanted her to become a vampire, to be his mate. Fine. He was not merely obsessed, he was in love.

Although he did not seem like the brightest guy, he did think at times, mostly about the future. And it killed him. People at high school graduate, go to university, get a job, get married and kids, and they would just vaguely remember Emmett as the funny muscular guy at high school. He on the other hand, would always repeat high school or university, would never have a wife or kids, and would always be forgotten. That's why he never thought of either his past or future, but focused on the present. And right now, it was with Rosalie.

"-such an idiot. Emmett! EMMETT!!" Rosalie snapped him back to Mrs. Weltje's office, where she was tapping her foot furiously.

"Uh, sorry, what?"

"I was just telling Mrs. Weltje what an incredible a-"

"Thank you miss Hale," Mrs. Weltje interrupted. "Please sit down, the both of you."

The two young-in appearance anyway- teenagers sat down and eyed the head-mistress. Mrs. Weltje was about 40, and wore a pair of yellow-rimmed glasses. Most students thought she was okay, but a bit weird. So has she been known for once screaming "MASOCHISTIC MARSHMALLOW!" and twirling an imaginary moustache while walking down the halls. She also had an obsession with sheep, and hyperventilating zebra's, and loved to talk with a French accent. She thought it sounded eloquent. In fact, it was more something à la a drunken sailor.

"Soo, what 'ave we 'eere?" she inquired, while peering over her glasses to look at Rosalie and Emmett.

"HE," Rosalie pointed a shaking finger to Emmett, who was now nervously fidgeting around in his chair, "continued to pester me during the lesson, making it impossible to concentrate!" she was now panting, as she fell back into her chair.

"Really now? How did he pester you then, miss Hale?"

"He called me names, and all these kind of things, and-"

"Names?" Emmett interjected. "I merely said you were the most beautiful woman I'll ever encounter in my life, that you're my ray of sunshine, _especially _when you're angry at me." Emmett paused to wink at Mrs. Weltje, who mischievously winked back. "Oh and that I would catch a bullet for you," 'dûh', he thought. "Oh, and that'd be cool if we could ever roast marshmallows together, or go scuba diving, or make out passionately in the cupboard down in hall-" he abruptly stopped as Rosalie slapped him right across the face, and they heard something crack.

"Ow! Damn, damn, damn!" Rosalie was holding her hand, which was now completely purple and swollen.

"Mr. Cullen! Go get the janitor please. He knows how to deal with this. "

"Actually Mrs. W, _you _go get the janitor, I'll stay with Rosalie. My dad's a doctor remember?"

"Yesh, yesh, of coerrrse!" Mrs. Weltje jumped up and hobbled towards the janitor on her 10-inch stilts.

"Stay. Away." Rosalie hissed through gritted teeth.

Emmett completely ignored her and put his hands around hers. Rosalie inhaled sharply but relaxed quickly and welcomed the long-wanted cold.

"Your hands are cold," she observed. "And you're like…unbreakable! I broke _my hand_ because I hit you, and you didn't even flinch!"

Emmett visibly gulped. "Uh, thick skull? Anyways, what's your favourite car?" he asked, trying to steer the conversation away from his secret.

"You're asking a _girl _about cars?!"

"You like cars!"

"And how would you know that?"

"Because every Thursday at nine you go to Danny's garage, and fix up old cars, and you have some pictures in your locker of cars, and well…sometimes I hear you talking to yourself." _More like listening to her sleeping commentary_, he thought.

Rosalie stared at him, unblinking. Then she tried to slap him with her non-injured hand. But this time Emmett. Was too quick, and held her by the wrist.

"YOU STALKER!" she screeched. "YOU ACTUALLY GO AND FOLLOW ME AROUND?!"

"Um…only when I have nothing to do.." Emmett whispered horrified.

"ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO?!" Rosalie shrieked. "WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE A VERY EXCITING LIFE, DO YOU?"

"Tell me about it" Emmett muttered before diverting his attention back to Rosalie. "I'm sorry, and will never follow you again if you don't want me to."

"Please."

''All right. Can you forgive me?"

"Hmmm, let me think abou- no!" she huffed indignantly.

Emmett sighed. "Ok, I understand. But I want you to know that everything I said back in that classroom, and always actually, I really meant. You are my sunshine. I really want to go and roast marshmallows with you. Do you think I go to school for fun? Hell no, I go because-"

"Law forces you to." Rosalie said dryly.

"…that too, but mostly because of you! Rosalie Hale, I think I'm sort of in love with you."

Rosalie stared at him, unable to speak. Emmett waited anxiously for her to say something, so when she had not moved for over 2 minutes, he began to worry.

"Um, Rosalie?" he waved his hand in front of her eyes, which quickly darted to his.

"Say…that again." she choked out.

Now Emmett was silent. Quickly, he regained his senses and said: "I u-um…love you?" It sounded more like a question, than anything, but he didn't care. He wanted to know what she thought. Finally she whispered: "You're not so bad either." Emmett had the feeling he could fly, and smiled broadly.

"but that doesn't mean I tolerate annoying behaviour!"

"Wouldn't want it any other way."

"And since you're my stalker, my favourite car is a red BMW convertible."

"Will remember it forever." Well, that was one promise he could keep. Then he had the most genius idea.

"Hey Rose?"

"Rosalie."

"_Rosalie_, excuse me. I happened to have a red BMW convertible at my home, wanna take a look at it sometimes? Like…next week Thursday? Your hand should be healed by then."

"Liar. The car isn't out until next year."

"Um, I have my connections." crapcrapcrap

She eyes in suspiciously, but the temptations was too big to resist. "Sure. But no weird advances or anything! We're just going to look at the car. That's it. Got it?" she said severe.

"Uh-huh!" Emmett happily embraced her, choking her in the process.

"Emmett…can't…breathe…"

"Oh. Sorry." he quickly released her and look apologetic. Rosalie coughed a few times, and stood up.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked curious.

"There's the janitor." she answered simply. Right enough, there were Mrs Weltje and the janitor.

"Ai. That looks pretty bad sweetie, come along." The janitor took Rosalie by the arm and lead her away.

"See you next Thursday Rose!" Emmett shouted after them.

"Rosalie!" she yelled back. Emmett couldn't help but grin. Slowly he turned towards the principal. "So…detention." he said.

"Oh that. Well, never mind that. I'm in a particularly good mood, having just learned the "Random Magazine" is going to include my article on the use of rubber ducks in the battle against global warming in their next issue! You may go now."

She motioned for him to leave and he gladly obliged. Next Thursday was going to be fantastic. Now the only thing he needed to do was avoid getting killed by his family and get a red BMW convertible which didn't exist yet. He swiftly grabbed his mobile phone and made a call.

"Alice, how opposed are you to grand theft auto?"

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**A/N: And that's it! Some random info: Mrs. Weltje is based on my friend Pixiefanpire, who really is this way. Go and check her stories out; you'll roll over with laughter. Oh, and the whole janitor first coming to Rosalie and then to take her back is indeed a bit stupid, but whatever, otherwise this story wouldn't be here ^^ Last thing, New Moon ROCKED!! Saw it yesterday, it was BRILLIANT. Go and see it! It's so...breathtaking! The effects, are just...*sighs* anyways. Read and Review!**


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